Wonder Woman, the Internet, and Tender Little Snowflakes

Steven Harper PiziksWARNING: LOTS OF STRONG LANGUAGE. MAY NOT BE SFW.

Now the Internet is losing its shit over a screening of Wonder Woman:

https://www.yahoo.com/movies/wonder-woman-update-theater-chain-behind-women-screenings-responds-complaints-adding-screenings-174319106.html

Short version is, a movie theater company arranged a women-only screening of WONDER WOMAN.  In certain quarters of the Internet (you know the parts I mean), this was met with howls.  Clutch your balls, gentlemen!  The wimmins have become sexist!  How dare they!

Shut your trump-holes.

Let’s look at what’s really going on, shall we?

First, the guys howling sexism aren’t really worried about sexism.  They’re being small children.  For thousands of years, men have had power over women, and we’re now in a society that is trying (and usually failing) to right this wrong.  Certain men, the ones who have only half a scrotum among them, are afraid of this.  So they meet every positive change with a demand for an equal-and-ridiculous sexist change.  “Women have demanded equal access to men’s spaces such as men’s clubs and men’s board rooms and men’s jobs, but now they want a special women-only place?  THAT’S NOT EQUAL! THAT’S HYPOCRISY!”  And they leap around clutching their balls because they’re afraid someone is going to cut them off.  This can’t actually happen–you can’t cut off what doesn’t exist.

At any rate, the WONDER WOMAN screening is a party, and a party is allowed to have a limited guest list.  Tell you what, ball-clutchers–when all of you demand to be included in baby showers, bridal showers, and strip clubs where men bare all, I’ll believe your whimpering about WONDER WOMAN.  Until then, it’s plain your protests are as fake as your wife’s orgasms.

Second, if you’re really and truly upset about a special screening for just women, then arrange a special screening for just men.  Go for it!  Nothing’s stopping you–except the fact that you have a sphincter where your mouth should be.  There’s no rule that says the group that arranged the women-only screening is required to arrange a men’s screening for you–that’s your job.  Get off your flabby, artery-clogged asses and arrange it.  Maybe I’ll even buy a ticket.  If I’m in town.  And I can stand the thought of sitting next to a bunch of emasculated ball-clutchers with half a scrotum among them.

Nah.  I wouldn’t be able to.  I’ll wait until the movie opens and make my sons go see it with me.  Like real men.

–Steven Harper Piziks

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Wonder Woman, the Internet, and Tender Little Snowflakes — 9 Comments

  1. It’s been interesting to see how the outraged fellas in the place where I learned of this 100% refuse to even address why, for some women, the very idea of watching a screening of this Wonder Woman in a theater filled with women only is so appealing. As I don’t go to these comic book bloviators I didn’t know what goes on at them. Evidently whenever one of the HOT female characters comes on screen the guys in the audience or at least a significant portion of them, go into sexist drool over drive, howling and screaming comments about what they’d do to her and throwing stuff like popcorn and so on to further prove how strong their sex drive is. It makes for a miserable movie experience for women. Evidently the theater manager in Austin, who is a woman, knows about this common behavior.

    Anyway, when this is described these fellas just can’t see the words, though nevertheless they insist that not being able to do this in a theater with women in it infringes their rights to free speech.

  2. “And they leap around clutching their balls because they’re afraid someone is going to cut them off. This can’t actually happen–you can’t cut off what doesn’t exist.”

    I love you for this.

  3. Well, reading that and the comments left me feeling considerably better about consigning a lot of people to the category of ‘twatwaffles’. You go girl!

  4. It’s crazy how much outraged and upset people are about a Woman and a leading female role. Like it’s 2017 people! I loved the movie so much I started researching Wonder Woman essays just so I can start writing my own posts and then I came across your post Steven, thank you! I think you just inspired my first rant haha.