Star Trek: Discovery and All the Little Snowflakes

Steven Harper PiziksCBS released an actual trailer (instead of a stupid teaser trailer) for Star Trek: Discovery. And the Internet is losing its head

As of this writing, the trailer has over four million views on YouTube and zillions of negative comments.  Why, you ask?  Well…

1. It only shows one white man in the trailer.  Instead, the show revolves around two minority women and various aliens.
2. The Klingons are different.
3. The uniforms and Star Fleet insignia are different.
4. Although the show is set ten years before the original series, the technology seems to be more advanced than in the original series.  It’s different!
5. We have to pay CBS’s streaming service to watch it.

So what’s happening here?

Well, for #1, the Internet is full of white snowflakes who, even after centuries of stories about straight white males, can’t handle it when a story isn’t all about them.  Sorry, boys.  The world is moving on.  You can either move with it and enjoy it with the rest of us, or watch BIRTH OF A NATION again with your hands down your pants.  The choice is yours.

As for 2-4, people forget that Star Trek ISN’T REAL.  Wake up, peeps!  It’s all fake.  Hand-waving.  A story.  We can have anything we want, whenever we want it.  Besides, times change, and our stories change with them.  No one talked to a computer in the original show because no one back then even thought the idea was possible.  We talk to computers NOW, though, and our stories must reflect that.  The Klingons have always changed radically from series to series.  They’re changing again.  So what?  It’s fun to see how a new team of people (with a bigger budget and updated effects) envision Klingons.  It’s nice to see them look more alien, too boot.  Pull the tri-corder out of your sphincter and enjoy the show on its own terms, dudes.

And as for #5 . . . know what?  I’m ready for this!  Let me choose the channels I want and pay a lower fee to get them. It’s way cheaper than a cable service that forces me to pay top dollar for channels I’ll never see!  And I’ll bet the streaming customer service is better.

Know what else?  All the complainers will bitch and moan and wail . . . and they’ll watch the show.  Every episode.  Four, five, and six times.  Then they’ll buy the DVD, and the Blu-Ray, and the digital when they come out.  Then they’ll log back into CBS and watch the episodes there again.

So just shut up, hand CBS the money, and watch the show, sweet little snowflakes.  You know it’s going to happen.

–Steven Harper Piziks

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Star Trek: Discovery and All the Little Snowflakes — 8 Comments

  1. They did talk to computers in the original show, at least in some episodes. I am ashamed to admit that I 1) know that; 2) felt constrained to tell you.

  2. This isn’t the first time I’ve read about a trailer or pre-release viewing being more diverse than the final released movie or tv-series. Which is making me wonder: who gets to be part of the pre-release audience, where all these studios aretrying out their productions nowadays? They tweak them afterwards based on that audience’s reaction, and apparently that trial audience is very tolerant of violence, but not at all tolerant of any kind of diversity – so who decides who gets to be in that audience, how and why do they do that?
    I remember reading about the old rich white men in charge of the movie studios liking to look at thin young blonde white women which influenced the casting decisions – and probably still does, at least in part, considering the stories that have been surfacing recently about Roger Ailes.
    But changes between trailers and finished released products appear to be influenced by the trial audiences, more than the casting bosses or studio bosses; so who gets to decide about them?

    And if these trial audiences are based on the demographic that brings in the most money for the studios at the moment, doesn’t that make it hard to appeal to a different or wider audience, if everything gets tweaked to appeal most to the present audience?

  3. I lost interest in Trek around age 24 (after watching reruns of the original a zillion times) but this actually has me interested.

  4. It does seem that in order to save money on streaming, one must cancel cable entirely, then pick and choose among various outlets. Well and good, but how do I get those old-fashioned normal stations, like ABC, CBS, etc? For regular TV? FWIW, antennas won’t work in my area. Help an old lady out!

    • You can stream CBS by subscribing to CBS All Access. I don’t know about the other networks. I’m guessing they’ll start their own streaming services very soon, if they haven’t already. HBO already has one.