As of this writing, the trailer has over four million views on YouTube and zillions of negative comments. Why, you ask? Well…
1. It only shows one white man in the trailer. Instead, the show revolves around two minority women and various aliens.
2. The Klingons are different.
3. The uniforms and Star Fleet insignia are different.
4. Although the show is set ten years before the original series, the technology seems to be more advanced than in the original series. It’s different!
5. We have to pay CBS’s streaming service to watch it.
So what’s happening here?
Well, for #1, the Internet is full of white snowflakes who, even after centuries of stories about straight white males, can’t handle it when a story isn’t all about them. Sorry, boys. The world is moving on. You can either move with it and enjoy it with the rest of us, or watch BIRTH OF A NATION again with your hands down your pants. The choice is yours.
As for 2-4, people forget that Star Trek ISN’T REAL. Wake up, peeps! It’s all fake. Hand-waving. A story. We can have anything we want, whenever we want it. Besides, times change, and our stories change with them. No one talked to a computer in the original show because no one back then even thought the idea was possible. We talk to computers NOW, though, and our stories must reflect that. The Klingons have always changed radically from series to series. They’re changing again. So what? It’s fun to see how a new team of people (with a bigger budget and updated effects) envision Klingons. It’s nice to see them look more alien, too boot. Pull the tri-corder out of your sphincter and enjoy the show on its own terms, dudes.
And as for #5 . . . know what? I’m ready for this! Let me choose the channels I want and pay a lower fee to get them. It’s way cheaper than a cable service that forces me to pay top dollar for channels I’ll never see! And I’ll bet the streaming customer service is better.
Know what else? All the complainers will bitch and moan and wail . . . and they’ll watch the show. Every episode. Four, five, and six times. Then they’ll buy the DVD, and the Blu-Ray, and the digital when they come out. Then they’ll log back into CBS and watch the episodes there again.
So just shut up, hand CBS the money, and watch the show, sweet little snowflakes. You know it’s going to happen.
–Steven Harper Piziks