Coed Demon Sluts: Beth, the serial

It’s a pretty good gig, actually. You get the nearly immortal, nearly invulnerable demon body, which can be gumbied into any height, weight, size, shape, color, age, you-name-it. You get thirty pieces of silver a month for tempting just three people; if you have sex with them, the bonus is double-bubble; and since silver currency has been out of style for almost a hundred years, they’re all rarities and worth a fortune. You must eat forty-five hundred calories a day, minimum, or else the body gets fatter. You never have to try on a pair of jeans again. You never have to try on another bra.

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