Engulf+Devour Acquires Book View Café

The Throne GamesIn a hostile takeover involving dragons, AK-47s, orcs, and a 1983 DeLorean, Engulf + Devour has acquired Book View Cafe in a five finger deal.  Their relationship commences with the blockbuster series The Throne Games: fight, fuck, or die! A plucky band of misfit contestants–a wisecracking gay guy, a lesbian in a wheelchair, a mystical person of color, a handsome het white guy with two day stubble, and a woman who thinks her high cheekbones, purple irises, and thin body are hideous–are chosen by the World Government to compete . . . who will die, who will fall in love, and who will be back next week?

The second collaboration is the serialization of Jane Austen: Pirate Queen, a series based on the little known part of Jane’s early life when she was a privateer on the Solent. The first episode, Plunder and Plunderability, covers Jane leaving home to become a governess in Lymington, her unexpected abduction by a marauding press gang, and her first months as an under-pirate on the Black Duck.

Later episodes cover Jane’s rise through the ranks as she soon became indispensable – finding wives for the crew, embroidering the sails, and securing a living of 600 doubloons for the ship’s parson.

Future projects will include Disparate, a near future dystopian tale of thwarted love and vengeance set on the moon, Gibbous, when werewolves have had enough and take back the night, and Linen, a far future story of Europe going deep, kicking tail, and redecorating ICBM silos.

Bylines will belong to any Book View Cafe members who survived the takeover.  Engulf + Devour does not admit that there are still stragglers out there fighting a guerrilla action, but this morning a neat pattern of closely-placed arrows were observed in the oak front door of the venerable publishing house.

There are rumors of incendiary devices dropped by bats and an impressive smoke bomb of mingled herbs and vinegar clearing the editorial department, but no announcement has been made.

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Engulf+Devour Acquires Book View Café — 16 Comments

  1. You *know* you’ve hit the big time when you’re acquired by Engulf + Devour! Way to go, BVC! And I can’t wait for Disparate, Gibbous, and Linen. Give us Gibbous! We’re desperate for Disparate! Old out, Linen!

  2. Point of clarification from the Punctuation Pest. Is it:

    Fight, Fuck or Die (alternately: Fight, Fuck, or Die)
    Fight Fuck, or Die (in which case, I’m dying to know who/what is Fuck?)
    or
    Fight Fuck-or-Die (see above)

    One can’t be too careful when one’s life is at stake.