My kittens have reached that fractious teenage stage.
They no longer bounce around destroying things by accident. They do it on purpose. They challenge authority.
They have to get my attention, to annoy, push the boundaries, draw me away from work.
This is what I get for working at home. Swear to god, with my first million, I’m renting an office in the building next door. Or putting a soundproof door to the one I work in now.
Right now TT is lying on my shins, more or less sleeping, content.
Buddy is ramping around the room, getting into things, scratching under doors, pretending to sharpen his claws on the furniture, making charming little chirruping noises in the hope of attracting his sister to The Game, whatever the game at is this moment.
Is that a thumbtack I hear him playing with on the hardwood floor? Am I going to find it with my bare foot when I get up?
Whoops, there goes TT now.
Now I know how right I was not to give birth. If these were children, I’d be facing a stone-faced caseworker from DCFS at this moment. If I wasn’t in prison for infanticide.
I keep telling myself I should treasure these months.
All too soon they’ll stop playing. They will become stodgy middle-aged cats, too much like me, soggy around the midsection, interested only in eating, sleeping, and a little mild personal attention.
I should be taking advantage of their pliability window. Get ‘em used to taking pills and having the tips of their claws clipped. Take them for gratuitous rides in the car so they won’t freak out when they see the cat carrier. Introduce them to well-mannered dogs or infants, in case one visits the house later on, when their views on such things are fixed. Buy them a pet mouse, so that when the inevitable one-mouse-per-year invades my basement they know what to do about it. Teach them to mind me.
At long last, I’m in perfect sympathy with those supermoms who fret that they should have been speaking French through a cardboard tube pushed up against their baby bumps, because the kids will never get into college if you don’t start early.
Today’s kitten pix are brought to you by CAT, GET OFF OF THERE RIGHT NOW!