POETS Day: Antisocial Sonnet #4

Female Figurine, Egyptian Predynastic Period, ca 3650-3300 BCE (Brooklyn Museum)

Female Figurine, Egyptian Predynastic Period, ca 3650-3300 BCE (Brooklyn Museum)

Antisocial Sonnet #4


The lady lingers long before the mirror
Distressed by what she sees below her belt:
An image so distorted by her fear
It wrings from her an outcry most heartfelt.
“My butt’s too big!” she cries. “I cannot fight
The fact that everything I eat is thus
Metabolized to dreaded cellulite;
I’ll soon be bigger than a city bus!”
Then bitterly she turns her gaze away
From stark betrayal by her looking glass
That holds no hope or comfort to allay
The terror of an ever-growing ass.
For with all women she is certain that
Her butt is but a magnet for all fat.

Posted in Humor, Poetry Tagged permalink

About Dave Trowbridge

Dave Trowbridge has been writing high-tech marketing copy for almost thirty years. This has made him an expert in what he calls “pulling stuff out of the cave of the flying monkeys,” so science fiction comes naturally. He abandoned corporate life in 2007 — actually, it abandoned him — but not before attaining the rank of Dark Lord of Documentation, a title which still appears on his business card and serves to identify clients he’d rather not work with (the ones who don’t laugh). He much prefers the godlike powers of a science fiction author (hah!) to troglodyte status in dark corporate mills, and the universe is slowly coming around to his point of view. Dave is currently laboring over the second edition of the space-opera series Exordium with his co-author Sherwood Smith, and looking forward to writing more stories in that universe. He lives in the Santa Cruz Mountains with his writer wife and fellow BVC member, Deborah J. Ross, and a tri-lingual German Shepherd Dog responsible for three cats. When not writing, Dave may be found wrangling vegetables—both domesticated and feral — in the garden.


POETS Day: Antisocial Sonnet #4 — 4 Comments


    Yet who could blame the woman for her fears?
    Each movie deems six “the size of a barge”;
    Each magazine for females weeps great tears
    O’er those who wear attire somewhat large.
    Ads tell us that for men, we must be fair,
    Slim beauty is the way their love to buy;
    Each song and vid the self-same message bears;
    Are you surprised that from despair we cry?

    All tell us that our value stems from looks;
    Our brains and gifts mean naught if we are fat.
    The cruel jests some tell feel like barbed hooks:
    “It’s just a joke–why be upset by that?”

    We’re trained to hate the image in the glass…
    And then are mocked for seeing a fat ass.