The Borborygmus is a dreadful beast
He clamors for attention unashamed
Emitting gastric noises undecreased
By anything except the tribute claimed.
Orotund and rounded are his vowels
Rumbling up from Stygian depths denied
But vainly by the victim of his growls
Outlandishly inflicted from inside.
Refusing his demands will only place
Your peace of mind in balance up against
Grotesque sonorities that cause disgrace
Made even worse by secret smiling sensed.
Until our race can prosper without food
So long lasts Borborygmus’ rule so crude.
Sharp-eyed readers will have noticed that this one is an acrostic sonnet: the first letter of each line spells out the title. It’s not a very good one, for the rhythm has been tortured to produce the acrostic. It also resulted in mild trichotillomania during its composition.