In Celebration of The Hobbit 2

By Brenda Clough

Oh happy day, the second Hobbit movie is out! Perhaps you, like I, cannot get to the theater this weekend. So to tide you over, here is another LOTR song parody for the occasion, dug out from my files:

(The setting is a clambake, on the beach at sad Lake Nurnen. It is the year 1600 of the Second Age, when as you recall everything’s coming up roses for the Dark Lord.)

SAURON: Rings are bustin’ out all over!

The Noldor made the Nine and Sev’n and Three!

Then I slipped off to Mordor

And diddled Celebrimbor

The master of all Middle Earth I’ll be!

CHORUS OF NAZGUL:  Because it’s One!

One, one, one!

ALL:  Just because it’s one, one Ring!

(A team of orcs leaps on and dances with the Nazgul, very Agnes de Mille.)

SAURON:  Rings are bustin’ out all over!

The Elves are hidin’ out in their enclaves

The Dwarves were disappointin’

But Men are so corruptin’

That they had no problem signing on as slaves!

NAZGUL:  Because we’re slaves!

Of the One!

ALL:  Just because it’s one, one Ring!

(Dancing. Big finale, repeat the chorus.)

My newest novel Speak to Our Desires is out exclusively from Book View Café.

I also have stories in Book View Café’s two steampunk anthologies, The Shadow Conspiracy and The Shadow Conspiracy II, as well as in BVC’s many other anthologies, including our latest, Beyond Grimm.




In Celebration of The Hobbit 2 — 3 Comments

  1. Well, for once I am ahead of the curve, having now seen the movie thanks to Lillian Butler, who organized a group viewing — mostly SF/F folks — at the Austin Alamo Drafthouse. A great romp of a movie, though I’m not sure Prof. Tolkien would have approved. And it ends on an appropriate cliffhanger.