Brick Crapper M.D’s second book from Book View Café is the revolutionary How POSSESSION Can Help You LOSE Weight. It will be published on May 5th and ARCs will be available through LibraryThing’s Early Reviewers April batch.
We’re very excited about this book as early trials have shown that this is an even faster way to lose weight than Brick’s award-winning The Noro Diet.
“I lost so much weight I could actually float above my bed!” – Lida Blair
And, like the Noro Diet, it’s almost never fatal.
In How POSSESSION Can Help You LOSE Weight, Brick explains everything – the science, the benefits, and even the risks. He includes testimonials from his many satisfied customers and a useful calorie counter for those hard-to-categorise ‘new’ foods.
But how does it work?
Well, first off, you’re eating for two. And some of those spirits have enormous appetites! It’s been clinically proven that a spirit needs at least 1,500 calories a day to survive – some considerably more than that. That’s 1,500 calories of YOUR daily intake being removed FOR FREE!
Second, there’s the IMPROVED diet. Spirits have cravings – they’re only human (well, some of them are) – but the amazing thing about these cravings is that they are SLIMMING POSITIVE! That’s right, spirits don’t crave sugary foods, or chocolate, or carbs. They crave LOW CALORIE foods like raw liver and bugs and those tiny nutritious foods you find in old cellars and attics and the better-stocked graveyards. And those cravings become YOUR cravings. It’s like a magic diet pill that takes away your craving for BAD food and introduces you to the GOOD.
And, even better, it doesn’t last. Once you’ve been exorcised, the slimline new you can return to enjoying your old favourites!
Third, there’s PROJECTILE VOMITING – the FAST way to a perfect body. Clinical trials have proven that projectile vomiting is up to FOUR times more efficient than ordinary vomiting. You don’t even have to run to the bathroom, with practice, and careful placement of your chair within thirty feet – and line of sight – of your bathroom, you can project your lunch from the comfort of your own ARMCHAIR!
Fourth, there’s … well, to find out you’ll just have to buy the book. Not only has Brick and his team of nutrifitness scienteers made a series of startling discoveries, but they’ve used that knowledge to come up with the perfect Possessed Diet Plan JUST for you. Fill out the questionnaire in the back of the book, mail it to your nearest Crapper Clinic, and, as soon as your money clears, you too can be on the path to GUARANTEED ACCELERATED weight loss. And meet a new friend.
After reading How POSSESSION Can Help You LOSE Weight, you’ll never need another diet book.
cover art © Vladimir Sazonov – Fotolia.com
cover design Chris Dolley