Or so the latest round of doomsayers predict, based on someone’s interpretation of the Mayan calendar. Apparently some more optimistic types think December 21, 2012, marks the beginning of an idyllic New Age.
I’m a little skeptical of both predictions, and I’m not alone. NASA has even posted a website explaining why the world isn’t ending.
But there’s no point in letting facts get in the way of a good story. So here is an end of the world flash fiction from my collection, Flashes of Illumination. This was written for another apocalypse, but with these predictions, it doesn’t really matter. If you don’t think this is the way the world ends, get a copy of the collection: There are other apocalyptic stories in it. If you buy a copy and the world ends, you won’t miss the money anyway. And if it doesn’t end, you can read the more optimistic stories and figure out how to go on living.
I thank you for the dollar. I surely appreciate it. Say, you found a safe place to go yet? Not much time left. Three hundred and something days.
‘Til what? ‘Til Planet X comes by and knocks the whole Earth out of whack, of course. You better sign up for something quick; only a few safe places left. It’s getting kind of late, you want to be one of the ten percent who survive.
You haven’t heard about Planet X? Honey, what do you do, walk around with blinders on all the time? It’s all over the Internet. Put Planet X in the Google box and see what comes up.
How come I know what’s on the Internet? Hey, you think just cause I live out here on the street I don’t keep up? Library’s got computers, lots of ‘em. I go in everyday, surf the Web, check my email. [email protected], that’s me, case you want to be in touch.
You look on the Web, you’ll find out about Planet X. It’s been coming around for a long time. The Sumerians called it Nibiru. It’s a rogue planet, or maybe a brown dwarf, and it’s got a powerful magnetic pull. When it comes by it will just rearrange everything on Earth. The North Pole won’t be north no more.
It doesn’t have regular circular orbit, like Earth. It goes back and forth between both suns, kind of a figure eight. Huh? What second sun? Honey, you have just not been paying attention to the news.
See, the sun is really two suns, only the other one is dark. So we can’t see it. But it still has a magnetic pull, which is how come they know it’s there.
It’s all in the book: Blindsided, by this guy Mark Hazlewood. I got a copy right here, in my bag. Explains the whole thing.
Blindsided, that’s a good title. Cause that’s what’s going to happen to most folks next May. Planet X is gonna come by and the world is going to go kaflooey, and they’ll have been looking the other direction.
Of course the government denies it all. But they denied Roswell, too. Hey, they tell folks, they got to pretend they’re going to save everybody. And you know that’s not going to happen. They got good shelters for the president and all them other important folks. Bet you anything they find a reason to visit near there next May. Surely you noticed the president wasn’t home on September 11?
Me, I’m going for the Hollow Earth habitat. I’ve been sending those folks my social security check each month, just to hold my place. That’s why I got to come out here, ask folks for change. But next year, I’ll be snug as a bug in a rug, while everyone else is getting washed away by tidal waves or blown into space by tornadoes.
You want to keep your blinders on, pretend it’s not happening, it’s okay by me. Not room for everybody, anyway.
Only you seem like a nice person. You talk to me like I’m human, not just some trash on the street. So you think about it, honey.
I can make it through another winter on steam grates. Having a safe place to go when it happens is more important. Don’t you worry about me none. You worry about yourself.
Here, take the book. Blindsided. It’s okay, I read it so much I know it by heart. Maybe it’ll change your mind.
No? Okay then.
Thanks again for the dollar. I appreciate it. I surely do. God bless.