Death Wish Dogs – Recipe For Disaster

We’ve posted lots of recipes this month. Here’s one to avoid:

  • 1 large pointy stone
  • 1 large stupid dog

Unwrap large stupid dog (aka Pyrenean Mountain Dog) and allow him to roam in large garden. Look other way. Jump out of the way the next day when large stupid dog honks up breakfast all over kitchen floor. Repeat for evening meal. Panic. Ring vet. Glare at dog.

Some of you may remember an earlier blog entry when I mentioned that Asta (the aforementioned large stupid dog) had a fondness for unusual meal supplements – in fact, anything he could fit into his mouth. Leeks, stones, small trees, staircases, Swiss chard, raspberry canes, bay leaves, hazel saplings, small postmen…

In particular, I mentioned our concern about his fondness for large pointy stones. We’d seen him honk one up, and we’d seen one appear via the other end – after three days of appetite loss, listlessness and feeling sorry for himself.

This time was worse. He couldn’t keep anything down – not even water. So on Monday we ferried him to the vet and an x-ray showed an enormous pointy stone in the small intestine. Asta was kept in and x-rayed 5 hours later to see if his body was managing to move the stone through his intestines. It wasn’t. Which meant … surgery to remove it.

Late Monday afternoon they operated on him and retrieved a large – one and a half inches long – pointy stone. And on Wednesday evening we went to pick him up. Sitting in the waiting room at the vet’s, it was very easy to work out where he was. Asta is a large, friendly, enthusiastic fur ball. And the sounds of laughter interspersed with cries of ‘sit,’ ‘no!’ and the occasional squeal from a nurse was a bit of a give-away.

And so we were reunited. We wondered if he’d have to wear a plastic cone to prevent him pulling all his stitches out, but were told that the sticky plaster bandage should be sufficient. It wasn’t. Asta had that off in a day. The vet applied a new one and we brought out a muzzle for him to wear during those times we weren’t watching him like a hawk.

As to the future, we had hoped he’d grow out of stone eating. But it looks like he won’t. So… we’re fencing off the parts of the garden with the most stones. He can still dig them up – he is an archaeological dog that loves to dig holes everywhere – but at least his opportunities will be reduced.

Chris Dolley is an English author living in France with a frightening number of animals. More information about his other work can be found on his BVC bookshelf .
An Unsafe Pair of Handsa quirky murder mystery set in rural England charting the descent and rise of a detective on the verge of a nervous breakdown. Which will break first? The case, or DCI Shand?
Medium Dead – a fun urban fantasy chronicling the crime fighting adventures of Brenda – a reluctant medium – and Brian – a Vigilante Demon with an impish sense of humour. Think Stephanie Plum with magic and a dash of Carl Hiaasen.
What Ho, Automaton! – Wodehouse Steampunk. Follow the adventures of Reggie Worcester, consulting detective, and his gentleman’s personal gentle-automaton, Reeves. It’s set in an alternative 1903 where an augmented Queen Victoria is still on the throne and automata are a common sight below stairs. Humour, Mystery, Aunts and Zeppelins!
French Fried true crime, animals behaving badly and other people’s misfortunes. Imagine A Year in Provence with Miss Marple and Gerald Durrell.
International Kittens of Mystery. If you like a laugh and looking at cute kitten pictures this is the book for you. It’s a glance inside the International Kittens of Mystery – the only organisation on the planet with a plan to deal with a giant ball of wool on a collision course with Earth.




Death Wish Dogs – Recipe For Disaster — 7 Comments

  1. Poor Asta’s family. (I won’t say Poor Asta–he clearly brought this disaster upon himself, although he looks like a supremely amiable and animal dog.) Having gone through some dog medical drama in the last couple of years, I have great fellow feeling for you.

  2. Perhaps you could consider aversion therapy? Find an appetizing stone. Dip in tabasco sauce. Leave it in a tempting place. Repeat. (Are there cheaper substances that are repellent to dogs?)

  3. I know — chile powder. The red stuff they put into Indian dishes, to blow your head off. If you use the straight genuine stuff, it has to have an effect.

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