I love weird things and I’m going to write about them. Hopefully every Tuesday right here at BVC. But only if they’re wonderful. By that I mean, not negative. Most people, having limited imagination, think weird implies some sort of sexual deviation, our favorites being incest, pedophilia, and torture of naked people. I’m skipping that sort of weirdness because I feel those are all negative. Besides they’re overdone. You want that kind of weird, rent a movie made for teenagers.
My weird and wonderful would be something more like the good old-fashioned, Coney Island two-headed baby. At first, you’re shocked. How can that be a positive thing, what with exploitation of circus freaks and all? But I disagree. What is the very height of wonderfulness but a baby with its dimpled cheeks, toothless smile, and downy pate? Why, two babies with dimpled cheeks, toothless smiles, and downy pates, of course! The two-headed baby: double wonderful.
For the inaugural column, this week’s weird and wonderful is actually a phenomenon, not an object. The wonderfulness of it is its cost-effective nature. Everyone knows nothing is more wonderful than saving money so here we go:
The Squattable Apple Nanopod
As you are driving down the highway, if your radio is tuned to the same blank station one of your nearby fellow roadsters is using to listen to his or her nano, you can piggy back. You get to listen to their tunes without so much as having downloaded a single pirated mp3. You experience twice the savings with this. First, you save on the nano, second, you save on the itune. Of course you can only take advantage of this if you stay relatively close to your nearby fellow roadster. Further, if the roadster has bad taste in music you could be stuck in audio hell for the duration. What if they’re into smooth jazz, or military marches or, omigod ‘80s stadium bands! Imagine getting stuck in an expressway jam with someone who is locked inside the Styx or Nightranger continuum.
If you want to save yourself a heartache and painful musical experience, I suggest you choose your road pals with care. Assuming a choice in cars is a reflection of taste, you should be able to determine what type of music a person likes just by checking their brand of automobile. Hang around cars that are like your own. Or find some generic cars like Beamers and Fords. Whatever you do, stay away from small convertibles in the fast colors old farts prefer to give the illusion of edgy youth. Avoid the red Miata like the plague lest you get stuck with ACDC until your exit shows up.
Speaking of Weird and Wonderful, Sue Lange is launching We, Robots, a novella of the Singularity as an ebook available at BVC. Check ‘er out.