When my son, who is 7, found out I was writing a book about vampires (the Vampire Chef series, the first book of which I’m turning in to the editors in early June), he immediately started telling me how the story should go, and telling me, and telling me. And waking up in the morning and telling me more. Until I finally agreed that we could write our own version of The Vampire Chef. Not content with this, he wanted to know when our own version would go up on this website I made with all the stories on it. And wanting to know when. And wanting to know when, until finally I had to promise faithfully that I would put our version of Vampire Chef up on the Book View Cafe site.
So today’s blog post is me keeping that promise. Here, ladies and gentleman, for a little light reading after Thanksgiving, is the first public outing of a new work by A. J. Smith, heavily typed and lightly edited by Mom. With apologies to the nice folks at Zingerman’s Roadhouse who really did not deserve to be set upon by vampires and monsters.
CHAPTER ONE of OUR VERSION
Our story begins at Zingerman’s Roadhouse on a Friday night. A little boy wanted cake for his nightly birthday party. The cooks were mixing the cake when they saw a group of vampires! The cooks were very afraid, but, then, one of the vampires became friendly.
But the vampires couldn’t be stopped, because they were turning into a new monster! A bllldlzomphiquo monster! So the cooks and the friendly vampire ordered some monster killing utensiles from the monster killing store that had just opened.
It took a long, long time to get the utensiles made and delivered because the monster killing store was in Las Vegas. But they had them delivered by a car-airplane (because one part ran on gas and one part flew). They also ordered a monster-protection cabinet to protect all their utensiles in case the monsters wanted their utensiles and wanted to turn them into human killers.
Then the cooks and the friendly vampire used the monster protection utensiles to try to kill the bllldlzomphiquo monster, but he was invincible! He had an invincible sheild around him. So they ordered some sheild-popping utensiles from the shield-popping store in Sacramento, California. This time they upgraded to truck-airplane so the utensiles got there much faster.
They tried the sheild-popper utensiles and they popped the sheild, but the sheild kept coming back! So, they decided to order a bag full of cats and dogs from the cat and dog store, which was right near Zingerman’s Roadhouse. The cats and dogs popped the sheild for good!
Then the cooks and the friendly vampire killed the monster with the monster killing utensiles. A
After awhile, they built themselves a little house, because they worked night and day and needed a place to live, and they were now part-time construction workers too. And sometimes they had to make another little house.