Whenever horse people get together, they inevitably and naturally talk horses. Almost always, after the veterinary disasters and the training tips, conversation turns to Funny Things My Horse Did.
Horses have a sense of humor. “Horselaugh” isn’t just a metaphor. The photo here? He does that All. The. Time. He also surgically removes his shoes using fence wire and just the right degree of twist, unties your shoes, and picks your pocket while you’re distracted.
And yes, he’s aware of the effect he’s creating. See the big black 100-gallon tub he tipped over before he experimented with weaving himself through the fence bars? One fine day while we were having a riding clinic here, he wasn’t getting enough attention, in his estimation. He’d taken his shoes off (which meant he wasn’t in the clinic–bad planning there) and the gate wasn’t opening for anything he could do (we have Evil-Proof Gates here). He considered the options, and selected “Insert Both Front Legs in Large Black Tub.”
Everyone came running, except me. I was busy at the time. There was much consternation. “He’s stuck! How can we get him out? What can we do?”
This went on for some time. Eventually I came by. He was standing there, the center of attention, as happy as a horse can be. Everyone converged on me. “How are we going to get him out? Will we have to cut the tub apart?”
I gave him the Eye. He gave me Innocence Personified. And quite calmly, leg by leg, removed himself from the tub.
“He does that all the time, ” I said.
Along with many other things. Once when he was a baby, ‘way too young to ride, he was all alone in the stalls while the rest of the horses were busy giving riding lessons. That was Not To Be Borne. So there we were, doing our figures and practicing our dressage, when suddenly we heard a musical clangor: WHANGA WHANGA WHANGA!
He had found a leadrope within reach (i.e. within ten feet of any fence he could squeeze up against). It was a bungee, what was more, with a heavy netal snap on one end and a velcro fastener on the other. He was striding up and down the stall with the leadrope in his teeth, swinging the metal end against the pipe bars.
A moment later, we heard a variation: thunka thunka thunka!
He had reversed the rope so that the velcro end was doing the business instead.
By that time lessons had ground to a halt. He rolled an eye at us. And then came the rest of the symphony: WHANGA thunka WHANGA thunka WHANGA WHANGA WHANGA thunka thunka thunka!
That was it, lessons were over. We were rolling in the aisles.
It’s not just Evil Geldings, either.
This one? Staged. The first time, it was his idea. He then obliged the photographer for numerous takes. And no, that’s not a llama. That’s a royal Lipizzaner stallion to you, sir. You see the worshipper? That’s his entourage. He never travels without one.
We now open the comments to the Silly Horse Stories Brigade. We are legion, and horses are universally and wonderfully silly.