Lalume has the week off because he is busy working on the Book View Cafe newsletter.
Therefore, Amy has some commentary on sci-fi television.
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I’m sure I would be Queen of Cheeze too if I ever got off my butt and activated my Chees-O-Meter for the Sci Fi Channel bundles of goodness. I really tried hard to find the 2007 Flash Gordon hawkmen – I saw the original show and Meredith saw them on You Tube and said they were going around and people were laughing their butts off at them.
That is just the regular Flash Gordon trailer, but it does show Flash and the extremely un-hawklike Hawkmen in their Pleather Hawkcoats.
This is a Hawkman (I forgot that Timothy Dalton was in the classic Flash Gordon – Queen Remix).
But Flash Gordon was just cheesy and cheap and idiotically-written. There must be something good about the Sci Fi Channel series Sanctuary because I keep watching it. I am not sure what that something would be, however. If anything, the writing on Sanctuary is worse than the deservedly deceased 2007 Flash Gordon.
On this week’s episode, the horribly-named “Magnus”‘s father showed up (pretty sure I saw the old coot in a prior episode, where he was squeezing through cracks with other homeless rubber-boned men) and, after having a giant hideous insect removed from the “muscles” at the base of his skill (lending new meaning to the old insult “muscle brain”), Senior Magnus told Junior Girl Magnus that he just had to leave after not seeing her for over 100 years – couldn’t stay. Why? Because he wasn’t included in future scripts! Duh!
Everybody just randomly lives forever, teleports, and does whatever on Sanctuary. Will “Sexy Guy” Psychologist/Psychic turned into a pale greenish Junior Hulk in this most recent episode, and almost had to kill his fake TV Script Racially Correct Asian Married to Black Woman Friend, except his other friends, including the suddenly wimpy and non-wereWarthog Henry showed up and saved him, and in 20 seconds, his slimy brain cockroach was removed and he was turned back into Bruce Banner or Wimpy Will again. I suggested last night that the scripts on Sanctuary were so painfully awful that maybe the actors were writing them — but maybe, the better parts are written by the actors, and the worse ones, the show writers. Amanda Tapping produces this “star vehicle” for herself and she isn’t short on ego. There’s definitely a Sanctuary-like quality to her web page – as if she were actually this bizarre immortal, “forever young” character, Helen Magnus.
“Hello father,” Helen informs the smelly, nasty old man found in the go-low mutant Fight Club arena.
“Arrr matey,” says the old man in a Jersey accent. Oh, wait! No, he didn’t say that. He began to verbally “spar” in idiotic repartee with this woman who just informed him that she thought he was her father.
Turns out, he really was her father – and he remembered this after the slimy brain cockroach’s tentacles were ripped untimely from the muscles of his backbrain. The horribleness of this old gent’s schizoid Joisey-Christmas Carol accent cannot be overemphasized. “You were born in Yorkshire in 1820, Slumgullion Magnus . . . you were the finest scientific mind of your time.”
“I got ter finish moi studies!” declares Slumgullion to the other hazily-filmed quasi-Victorian gentlemen brandishing their backlot canes and pince-nez at him.
It’s so horrible. But I keep watching it. And to Amanda Tapping, who piqued my interest because I truly didn’t recognize her as the same actress as the blonde, tough Stargate captain, and because I guessed she was Canadian based on her mannerisms, and had some wondering moments re: the weird Magnus accent – she is born in the UK, but raised from an early age in Canada. She seems to be a pretty cool person, and she is very full of life and interesting – but tone the ego down! Holy @@%!@@!! – acting is a job not a calling. And – if Sanctuary is written by “writers” – heck, Amanda – go ahead and write it yourself. There is no doubt you and your friends could do much, much better. Oy.