My Life So Far, by Pard
In the first place there were Mother and Sister and me with a mother and an aunty human who had a lot of kittens. Some tom humans came around now and then and either paid no attention to anybody but the queens, or were dangerous to kittens, pretty much like real toms. Mother and Sister and I kept out of their way and had no worries except sometimes the younger kitten humans, who will pull your tail as soon as their eyes are open. And some of the bigger ones played too rough, or tried to hug. Hugging, even when well meant, is horrible.
Life was often quite exciting in the first place, and we were happy together. I am hardly ever sad, but sometimes when I am going to sleep I hear purring around me that is not mine, and it seems that Mother and Sister and I are all curled up like one warm cat. And then I am happier than usual.
The kibbles there were all of one species, but there were plenty of them, except when there weren’t any of them. When the bowl had been empty for a while and then the kibbles were turned loose in it, Sister and I did a lot of growling and shoving to see who could get more first, but it wasn’t serious, it just made hunting and killing the kibbles more exciting.
The humans ate the weird things humans eat. Mother ate some of them too, but when she tried to hunt any of them the mother and aunty and the bigger kittens got all upset and did shouting and swatting and made unpleasantness. I dislike unpleasantness, so I never even tried. Why hunt weird things when you have kibbles? Besides, the humans don’t eat our kibbles, so we don’t eat theirs. Fair is fair. Except for exceptions.
So that was all good, but then came the awfulness. It was confusing and terrible and everything changed all at once, so that I want not to remember it, and have succeeded pretty well. There was the box that smelled of fear, and the roaring moving room-thing, and all the strangenesses, and really I don’t want to think about it or that Mother and Sister and I have not seen each other again.
In the strange place, all the humans were toms and queens and strangers, and there were far too many cats, all strangers. Sometimes I cried and sometimes I got my tail up for a while. None of the humans ever shouted or swatted, and some of them petted. But I mostly remember being in the little room with strange cats in it and with walls I could see through into a lot of other little rooms with see-through walls and cats in them. Cats, and toys, and litter boxes, and climbing places, and hiding boxes.
One of the strangenesses was that I lost my balls there. I had two of them. They were near my tail, not very big, but I liked them. After I woke up in the strange place and they put me in the little room and I was washing, I noticed they were gone. I looked all around for them but they weren’t in the little room. I was too sore and sleepy to worry much about them.
I hid in one of the hiding boxes box most of the time at first, but then I felt better and got bored and came out and investigated the toys. They were good. There was one I could get clear into and crawl through excitingly. The other cats were all right, but strangers. There were always kibbles in the bowl when I felt like hunting, but I didn’t very much. And always water, too, in bowls. In the first place, I had often had to climb up to the water hole and brace myself on the slippery white sides to keep from falling in while I drank, which was exciting, but not very. Here in the second place I never do it any more. There is a water bowl, but I don’t often drink from it these days, because the waterfall happens when I stand on the edge of the sink and request it. Water that doesn’t move isn’t half as good as a waterfall.
There was so much strangeness in the strange place that when I met the old queen and the younger aunty humans they were just parts of it. But they distinctly had good intentions, and good manners, too, admiring me, holding out their knuckles to me like noses, and making no effort to hug. So I purred loudly and kept my tail so straight up that the end of it fell over onto my back, which pleased them, and there was mutual pleasantness. And so I left there and came here with them.