In Celebration of The Hobbit 2

By Brenda Clough

Oh happy day, the second Hobbit movie is out! Perhaps you, like I, cannot get to the theater this weekend. So to tide you over, here is another LOTR song parody for the occasion, dug out from my files:

(The setting is a clambake, on the beach at sad Lake Nurnen. It is the year 1600 of the Second Age, when as you recall everything’s coming up roses for the Dark Lord.)

SAURON: Rings are bustin’ out all over!

The Noldor made the Nine and Sev’n and Three!

Then I slipped off to Mordor

And diddled Celebrimbor

The master of all Middle Earth I’ll be!

CHORUS OF NAZGUL:  Because it’s One!

One, one, one!

ALL:  Just because it’s one, one Ring!

(A team of orcs leaps on and dances with the Nazgul, very Agnes de Mille.)

SAURON:  Rings are bustin’ out all over!

The Elves are hidin’ out in their enclaves

The Dwarves were disappointin’

But Men are so corruptin’

That they had no problem signing on as slaves!

NAZGUL:  Because we’re slaves!

Of the One!

ALL:  Just because it’s one, one Ring!

(Dancing. Big finale, repeat the chorus.)

My newest novel Speak to Our Desires is out exclusively from Book View Café.

I also have stories in Book View Café’s two steampunk anthologies, The Shadow Conspiracy and The Shadow Conspiracy II, as well as in BVC’s many other anthologies, including our latest, Beyond Grimm.


About Brenda Clough

Brenda W. Clough spent much of her childhood overseas, courtesy of the U.S. government. Her first fantasy novel, The Crystal Crown, was published by DAW in 1984. She has also written The Dragon of Mishbil (1985), The Realm Beneath (1986), and The Name of the Sun (1988). Her children’s novel, An Impossumble Summer (1992), is set in her own house in Virginia, where she lives in a cottage at the edge of a forest. Her novel How Like a God, available from BVC, was published by Tor Books in 1997, and a sequel, Doors of Death and Life, was published in May 2000. Her latest novels from Book View Cafe include Revise the World (2009) and Speak to Our Desires.
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3 Responses to In Celebration of The Hobbit 2

  1. Well, for once I am ahead of the curve, having now seen the movie thanks to Lillian Butler, who organized a group viewing — mostly SF/F folks — at the Austin Alamo Drafthouse. A great romp of a movie, though I’m not sure Prof. Tolkien would have approved. And it ends on an appropriate cliffhanger.

  2. Cat Kimbriel says:

    Lots of special effects fun, a few new plot threads where you will go “I don’t remember that…” and SPIDER WARNING!

  3. I am hoping my husband organized enough to get tickets to the Imax production tomorrow! And then, yes, there will be a Very Short Review.